I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
