I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
