Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
