so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
