There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
