he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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