he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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