Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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