making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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