We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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