Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
