I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
