There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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