The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
