I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
