dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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