Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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