I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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