Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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