i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
