I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
