He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
