I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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