He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
