I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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