I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This is the high leading the old right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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