nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When are your genitals available?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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