Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
