i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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