I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
