Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
