Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
