You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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