lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
