I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
