rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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