Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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