wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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