what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
