I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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