i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
