I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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