Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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