Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
