im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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