Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
