GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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