You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
