i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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