i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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