yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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