I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
