Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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