is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
