id be glad to
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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