she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Alive.
So much puke
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
