how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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