I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize