we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
