Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
