how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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