so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
