pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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