She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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