Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
where are you?
Hypothermia
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
