Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
