I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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