DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Drake has all the answers
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
